January 23, 2007 Tuesday 
Twist it, flip it - make me insane. *evil grin* Confuse a cat, scare a dog Gotta love the rain. One pair, four of a kind - everyone up your ante. Mama we're all gonna die, Mama we're meant for the flies....and never again, and never again - they gave us two shots to the back of the head - and we're all deeeaaad now.

January 25, 2007 Thursday 
It's been a good night - a very, very good night.

January 29, 2007 Monday  
The Doctor sat and chuckled at the latest musing in his head. Drinking tomato juice was as good a substitute for the sanguine fluid that all Vampires crave, as much as having an urge for ice cream and eating grass. He stood up and shook the thoughts of grass, ice cream and tomato juice out of his head, and walked out the door, heading for the town below. It was a good night for a hunt.

February 5, 2007 Monday
Dr. Necessitor worked diligently on the new contraption. It was a concoction of ropes, wires and razor blades. One long blade he was especially fond of - it was three and a half feet long and curved with a nice bevel, and swung outward from the side of the "toy." Grinning he set the blade to swing, clicking the wire into the easy-to-release slot in the metal frame.

Glancing upward, he saw that a screw was loose, and grabbed the Phillips head, and stretched upward to tighten it. At that moment a swallow flew into the open window from the night air. The bird immediately darted around, realizing it was trapped inside a building. Within a few seconds of it entering the room, it bounced off the wire release, and set the blade in motion.

As the huge blade swung in a downward arch, Dr. Necessitor jumped backward, as the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. The razor flew down with a loud "whoosh" nicking the Vampire on the cheek. One tiny drop of blood seeped from the superficial cut. The blade slammed into the wooden stopper at the bottom of the contraption with a loud "thunk."

"Holy shit!" the Doctor exclaimed, touching a fingertip to his cheek. "That was a close shave!" He watched the bird find the window again, and fly to freedom. He then raised his palm and slapped his forehead three times. "Remember this!!" he growled at himself, "Remember!"

February 27, 2007 Tuesday 
She had taken the first step in killing him, and she didn't even mean to. She cared for him. The Vampire did no better - pushing the matter further, not even thinking. He didn't know why he did it - it didn't even make any sense! He thought back to the past, when she tried to make him leave their "friendship" and he returned the action with pain. He remembered how her head hurt. Normally he would have grinned thinking about this, but he was shaken by the unfolding of current events. "I can't believe it, I can't believe it," he kept repeating quietly under his breath. He knew what he needed to do. He knew he could fix it. He jumped up off the bed and started searching the room. "It has to be somewhere," he growled, rummaging through draws and tossing things off the table. "I can't believe it," he spoke again. 

Suddenly his legs felt horizontal. He woke with a start within his coffin. He slammed back the coffin lid and climbed out with unsteady legs. "It was a dream," he mumbled, slightly disoriented. "No, a nightmare," he corrected himself. He walked to the couch and sat down, his eyes darted back and forth, as thoughts churned through his head. "Just one more thing to make this night...." he couldn't think of the word that would finish that sentence, and sighed. Then again - there were too many other words crowding his mind....selfish, stupid, failure, and the words he remembered saying clearly to her.  

March 12, 2007 Monday 
It felt like he could feel every single cut - every time he slammed the dagger into his thigh, every time he ran the razor ring down his face, every time he slit his wrists. He felt them all now, as if they were still there. His eyes still closed, he reached his left fingertips up under the black sleeves of the Armani suit to touch his right wrist. Of course, no markings were there, nothing to blemish his Vampire flesh. He opened his eyes slowly to see that the entire surface of his stone desk was covered in blood. He exhaled slowly, almost as if he expected it. Mumbling under his breath, his head jerked a few times. His eyes narrowed and he leaned back in the black leather chair. The song, "It's a beautiful lie," by 30 Seconds to Mars kept playing in his head. "It doesn't matter," he mumbled to himself. "It doesn't fucking matter." His head tilted to the side, and he wondered why he always fell back on those words, when it did matter....but at this point...he couldn't allow himself to care.

April 24, 2007 Tuesday 
He sat at his desk, pondering that he didn't write so much lately, didn't create, didn't care. He couldn't easily recall the last hunt he enjoyed by himself. He started getting glimpses of things - things that made him put up even more walls. "Self-preservation," he muttered to himself. He had spent over a century hiding his true identity, and now seemed to be getting lax. "Idiot!" he growled under his breath. "Stupid idiot!" he said again. "You're getting soft, Vampire," he continued talking to himself. He sighed heavily and closed the book on his desk he had been reading. He realized for the last 20 minutes all he had been doing was staring at the pages as if they were blank. "On his face is a map of the world." blared into his headphones.

"It's all in my hands," he said. "I had the control, I've always had the control," he said almost half-heartedly. Suddenly he growled and barked out to no one but himself, "It's all about the control!" Then he sighed yet again.

"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor," started blaring. An evil grin curled his lips as images of a most interesting bar brawl with Demonosia, Outsider, and some drunk Werewolf called Sorry practically demolished the place - largely due to the Lycan.

His mood lightened a bit, and his thoughts were now convincing - they were always logical - but now he knew he would be resolute. "Yeah," he thought to himself, "Time for control." The voices in his head agreed with him.

July 10, 2007 Tuesday  
He had written more...words from days, months gone past that belonged here, but now even they are gone. Everything seemed to be screwed up. Those journal entries gone - not much there - bits and pieces - much of it somewhere in the dark recesses of the mind - doesn't matter. 

A song has been on the mind lately, gonna post the lyrics here:

30 SECONDS TO MARS LYRICS

"Capricorn (A Brand New Name)"

So I run, hide and tear myself up
Start again with a brand new name
And eyes that see into infinity

I will disappear
I told you once and I'll say it again
I want my message read clear
I'll show you the way, the way I'm going

So I run, and hide and tear myself up
Start again with a brand new name
And eyes that see into infinity
I was almost there
Just a moment away from becoming unclear
Ever get the feeling you're gone
I'll show you the way, the way I'm going
So I run, and hide and tear myself up
I'll start again with a brand new name
And eyes that see into infinity

So I run, start again
With a brand new name
With a brand new name

So I run and hide and tear myself up (so I run)
I'll start again with a brand new name (start again)
And eyes that see into infinity (with a brand new name)

I will disappear

July 12, 2007 Wednesday  
Almost got busted yesterday. I have to be careful. Seems like nothing is safe anymore.

July 25, 2007 Wednesday 
"Has it been only 13 days since I've been here last?" he questioned himself, staring at his last journal entry. "Seemed like so much longer." He leaned back in the chair behind the desk in his lab. "So much potential," he muttered, reflecting on himself. He thought about the beast that ravaged his mind. Not too bad lately - well, not since Sunday anyway - and that was good. He thought of simple things; the graveyard, knife throwing practice - even past walks on cobblestone streets, He felt oddly tired. Made sense. He was up rather early. He knew the heavy curtains blocked out the early evening sun. 

The Vampire got up and left his lab. He walked back down the stone spiral stairs to his underground cavern. His socked footsteps were quiet. He grinned to himself at the thought. "No use in walking up the other Vampires," he chuckled as he talked to himself. The torch lights on the wall illuminated the way as he approached the row of coffins. The Vampire walked to his - well, they all were his - but his personal casket, pushed back the marble lid and crawled inside. He then slid the heavy top back over and lay down, relaxing. In a few more hours he'd be up, and he had a lot to do.

September 8, 2007 Friday  
Wow, been this long since I've posted? *sigh* Well, birthday's come and gone, not that I even care. Was a shitty birthday anyway, though I did get a few rather devious gifts. 

September 12, 2007 Wednesday  
The teacher walked into the classroom to the sounds of chuckling. Turning, she glanced up at the chalkboard behind her. Her head snapped back to the students sitting neatly in rows. "Who wrote THIS on the blackboard!" she demanded. Other than a few uncomfortable coughs, no one ratted out the one responsible. Her eyes traveled over the children's faces, and came to rest on the young Vampire, sitting in the back of the class. Before he could help himself, a smirk played on his lips.

The teacher grabbed up a ruler, walked to his desk and then delivered a loud smack across the Vampire's knuckles. His smirk disappeared and was replaced with a growl, as he glared daggers at her. No one dared to chuckle at the Vampire's being "disciplined." She placed paper and pen on his desk and told him to write, "I will behave in class" one hundred times, then returned to her desk. She then spoke out, "Everyone, read your books for the rest of the class."

There was shuffling of feet, and slamming of books as the students got their reading materials out. The young Vampire glared at the teacher, knowing she was avoiding meeting his stare. When she shifted uncomfortably in her chair, he dropped his gaze and grabbed up the pen. He started writing on the paper, line after line, the same thing. "I am the Keeper." 

September 14, 2007 Friday  
Sometimes the most well laid plans are not necessarily good plans.

My Chemical Romance - Dead 

And if your heart stops beating
I'll be here wondering
Did you get what you deserve?
The ending of your life
And if you get to Heaven
I'll be here waiting, babe
Did you get what you deserve?
The end and if your life won't wait
Then your heart can't take this
Have you heard the news that you're dead?
No one ever had much nice to say
I think they never liked you anyway
Oh Take
Me from the hospital bed
Wouldn't it be grand
It ain't exactly what you planned
And wouldn't it be great if
We were dead
All Dead!
So tired and oh so squeamish
You never fell in love
Did you get what you deserve?
The ending of your life
And if you get to Heaven
I'll be here waiting, babe
Did you get what you deserve?
The end and if your life won't wait
Then your heart can't take this
Have you heard the news that you're dead
No one ever had much nice to say
I think they never liked you anyway
Oh Take
Me from the hospital bed
Wouldn't it be grand
To take a pistol by the hand
And wouldn't it be great if
We were dead
And in my honest observation
During this operation
Found a complication
In your heart, so long
Cause now you've got
Maybe just two weeks to live
Oh is that the most the both of you can give?
One Two,
One Two Three Four
LA LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!-
Well come on,
LA LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA L'OH LA
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!-
Oh Motherfucker
If love ain't just a joke
Then why are we laughing?
If love ain't just a joke
Then why are we laughing?
If life ain't just a joke
Then why are we laughing?
If life ain't just a joke
Then why am I dead?
Dead!

September 16, 2007 Sunday  
The trick is to not let the rollercoaster run off the track.

September 22, 2007 Saturday  
The rollercoaster stayed on the track. Dr. Necessitor did enjoy visiting Coney Island. It was good to have friends on the rollercoaster with him. Sighing heavily, the Vampire thought just how good his friends were.

October 9, 2007 Tuesday  
The Vampire's head was pounding, and his stomach felt like it was on fire. Pain shot up into his collar bones and rested there like some unwanted pigeons on a windowsill. "I feel like shit," he grumbled to himself. He placed his elbows on the top of his desk and let his forehead fall down into his palms. Suddenly some lyrics to a song by Russ Ballard came to mind.

"Voices, I hear voices....voices, I hear voices." The Vampire slowly moved his head back and forth and sighed.

"It's gonna be a long night," he said, exasperated.

October 17, 2007 Monday  
He sat by himself on the black leather couch. His left elbow rested on his left knee, and he cradled his forehead on his fingertips for a few minutes, then raised his head. With his right hand he picked up the remote, and turned on another music video, then put it down and grabbed up the clove cigarette. Grumbling to himself, he knew the beast was near. Before 30 Seconds to Mars could break into "From Yesterday," the Vampire noticed a shadow fall over the room. Slowly he turned his head, as a growl emitted from his throat. The beast stood in the doorway, a foul stench hovered about it. Dr. Necessitor raised his right hand, and closed it into a fist with all but one finger, which remained straight up. The creature stepped back, and the Vampire bolted from the couch to the door, slammed it shut and locked it. He returned to the sofa, sat down and sighed. It was still just outside the door...still near, still waiting to bear down on him. Suddenly the Doctor yelled at the door, "Go away mother-fucker!" He then sighed again and returned to the video, doubting his comment made any difference at all. 

November 14, 2007 Monday  
He had another one of those dreams again. The Vampire got up out of his coffin and made his way up the spiral stone staircase to his Lab. He walked past the jars of various organs soaking in formaldehyde on one of the counters and stepped through the office door. Snatching up a tablet and pen, he sat down and scribbled a few detailed notes - but basically, the dream was similar to the others. He thought back over this last dream, and pondered it's meaning. He recalled a message that a mojo-weilding friend gave him recently, and oddly, they tied together in some warped way. A grin curled his lips as he marveled at her genius.

Dr. Necessitor stood up and walked to the coffee pot. He poured a scalding cup, grinning that coffee pots now had automatic "on" timers. He walked out of his office, out of his Lab, and out of the castle. As he walked through the courtyard he glanced up at the tiny sliver of a crescent. Another week, and it would be a full moon. He grinned evilly. Things always seemed to get more interesting around here when the moon was full. He made his way down to the ancient graveyard. The old, weathered iron gate creaked loudly as he pushed past it. He would have to remember to have that oiled. He made his way to his favorite headstones. They were not the markers of anyone he knew, nor were they the most adorned headstones, the were rather plain actually - one was just the one he always sat on top of, and he propped his feet on top of the other.

He took the last sip of coffee, and nestled the empty cup in his palm. He glanced upwards again and marveled at how clear the sky was tonight. The stars looked tiny, bright and sharp-edged. The Vampire drew in a deep breath and exhaled. His mind went to that 30 Seconds to Mars song. He let it play in his mind.

"Attack"

I won't suffer, be broken, get tired, or wasted
Surrender to nothing, or give up what I
Started and stopped it, from end to beginning
A new day is coming, and I am finally free

Run away, run away, I'll attack
Run away, run away, go chase yourself
Run away, run away, now I'll attack
I'll attack, I'll aa-WHOOOAAAAAAAAA

I would have kept you, forever, but we had to sever
It ended for both of us, faster than a
Kill off this thinking, it's starting to sink in
I'm losing control now, and without you I can finally see

Run away, run away, I'll attack
Run away, run away, go chase yourself
Run away, run away, now I'll attack
I'll attack, I'll aa-WHOOOAAAAAAAAA

Your promises, they look like lies
Your honesty, like a back that hides a knife (knife)
I promise you (promise you)
I promise you (promise you)
And I am finally free

Run away, run away, I'll attack
Run away, run away, go chase yourself
Run away, run away, now I'll attack
I'll attack, I'll attack, I will attack

Run away, I'll attack, I will attack
Run away, I'll attack, I will attack

Run away (Run away), I'll attack (I'll attack)
I'll aa-WHOOOAAAAAAAAA

Your promises
(promises, promises)
I promise you
(promise you)
I promise you
(promise you, promise you)

An evil grin curled his lips. "Yes," he thought, "I'm so tired of the bullshit. Time to move on." With that he got off the headstone and headed back to the castle. The wind whistled, whipping back his raven hair, and he turned his head to the left and looked at the mausoleum across the yard. There were a few of them, but his focus was on "that" one. He inhaled and exhaled deeply again, the biggest of grins on his face. 

November 19, 2007 Monday  
He sat in front of the fireplace on his favorite black leather chair, and read through the note one more time. "I don't want to hate you. I really don't want to, but sometimes you piss me off so much. You know I'd be lost without you, but you still make me so very angry."

The Vampire mumbled, "Fuck her," then crumpled the note up and tossed it into the fire.

November 25, 2007 Sunday 
He tried to remember what he wanted to write about the other day - but it escaped him. He knew it would be a long entry...yet the concept, the idea, the reason did not come forth. His mind went to other things and he growled under this breath, "Make a note - don't call people when you are angry, or want to push forth an opinion." He knew he was not rash or nasty on the phone, but he also knew he was blunt and to the point. "Now the fucking bitch never wants to talk to me again," he growled, while thinking it didn't make sense under the circumstances. "Fuck her too!" he yelled. He didn't give a rat's ass if he did talk to her again. The only thing was, he had inadvertently hurt someone else by making that call. "Fucking bitch!" he snapped again, the said in a low melancholy voice, "Don't make phone calls."