~ Journal of a Malkavian Vampire ~

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It had been a long time since he had been here. He contemplated all the times he should have visited, though did not. He had a few ideas why he didn't. He knew he'd be here today - he had planned on it for awhile. The room was quite dark, only a sliver of light from the hallway seeped through the almost closed door. He sighed heavily then walked to the ancient table in the middle of the room. With gentle hands he picked up the candle from the table as he reached inside his pocket for a lighter. He put the flame to the wick and it lit up quickly, brilliantly - illuminating the room. He carefully placed the candle back down into the holder and thought how much one tiny flame could illuminate a room so well. It was almost creepy. The candle almost seemed cheerful, happy it was so bright. 

The Vampire nodded his head. It made sense. The animated candle did seem happy - bright to be lighting up a dark place. He wondered it anyone else pondered such things. A bright little bit - the candle before him - was not to be confused with a bad feeling, an unhappy feeling. It was almost as if the candle wanted the darkness to feel happiness, wistfulness, melancholy even - but not defeat, depression or unhappiness. The Vampire signed heavily again, then smiled slightly. He was sure someone else could see the logic in it. He certainly hoped so.


"I am such a fucking idiot. Why can't I use logic a bit more often? Huh? You'd think I would as I tend to favor logic. *smirk*


The evening was cool, chilly actually. The sky seemed starless, yet the moon shone brightly. He walked along on the sand, solidified damp by the incoming waves. He looked out and the ocean looked more black than blue. 

"I can't take it anymore." 

He heard her voice and turned quickly. Sometimes she had a habit of catching him by surprise.

"What's on your mind," he asked, still looking out to sea.

"I don't want the job," she said with a pout on her face. "I'll be giving up what's important in life." She paused and added, "Not that I've been doing a great job at that anyway."

He shook his head and glared at her. "You're doing a better job than you give yourself credit for. You've had a lot of obstacles and as soon as you recognize that...." he trailed off.

"I dread getting that call," she said. Her head slumped down as she thought of the job she really might enjoy, or at least have peace with.

"Well," he quipped, "Maybe you'll have another prospect before that call and can simply tell him you've been hired elsewhere."

"Not likely," she said with a catch in her voice. "You know why."

He nodded and then frowned. "Life kinda sucks," he said quietly.

They walked side by side on the beach, heading north toward the lighthouse. He wanted to reach his hand out and grasp hers, but he couldn't. He could tell she wanted to wrap her arm around his waist, but his body language screamed at her "Don't touch me."

Trying not to cry she walked with him, closer and closer to the lighthouse, though it was so far off in the distance. Suddenly she blurted out, "You wouldn't." 

An evil grin played on his lips. "You know I care." The images of not so long ago played in his head. He didn't share that with her. "I really do try sometimes," he growled, confused somewhat with the conflicting thoughts in his head. 

"Let's just walk," he snapped at her. She sighed heavily and walked alongside him as they closed the distance to the lighthouse.


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